


Valentine's Virus

by Bruinhilda



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bruinhilda/pseuds/Bruinhilda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little something for Valentine's Day.  The Liberator investigates a long-dead planet, but not all of the planetary defenses are dead...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Virus

          "So that's it then? The famous Love Planet?" Vila took a swig from his flask as he looked at the viewscreen. "Doesn't look all that lovely to me." The planet in question spun gently on the screen in front of them. It was, in fact, a rather dead gray-brown in color, lacking any visible signs of water, weather, plant life, or habitation.  
          "It's heyday is long past." Blake gestured to a crater on the northern hemisphere. "Until that happened, they were a peaceful colony, dedicated to their ideals, and famous for their hospitality."  
          "And none of that saved them." Avon sounded faintly amused. "The people of this planet lived by the philosophy that love makes the world go around. If they had trusted in physics instead, they might have been able to save their world and themselves from extinction by asteriod."  
          "Kind of ironic, in a way." Jenna smoothly guided the ship into orbit. "They held off the Federation for a hundred years, only to have the universe wipe them out instead."  
          Cally finished running through the frequency channels. "No transmissions of any kind, either from the planet or from anywhere in the system." she placed her headphones on the console. "We're completely alone here."  
          "Why are we here, exactly?" Gan asked. "This planet doesn't even have a name anymore. It's been dead for generations."  
          "Which at least makes it a good hiding spot for us. The Federation has no use for it." Avon smiled crookedly. "As far as they are concerned, love is dead and buried and well forgotten."  
          "Which in itself is interesting," Blake added. "Granted, the planet's orbit shifted enough that it's uninhabitable on the surface, but that's never stopped them from claiming a system. There are minerals to be mined, and it's in a sector that's lacking proper observation and security outposts."  
          "Which was reportedly the reason they originally wanted to claim this world in the first place," Avon interjected.  
          "And they couldn't. They never gained a foothold when people were still alive here. And then the universe wiped them out, leaving the system wide open for the taking, and they still left it alone."  
          "And is that why we're here?" Cally asked. "To find out how this planet is still free of the Federation?"  
          "There must be some reason," Blake said. "This wasn't a hostile society, but they must have had some sort of weaponry to keep themselves independent and unconquered. Something the Federation is still afraid of. If we could find that..."  
          "It would probably be useless to us," finished Avon.  
          "And why do you say that?"  
          "There are only two logical options to the questions of a super weapon or weapons left behind here. Either they have long since ceased functioning, or..."  
          "Or?" Vila asked anxiously.  
          "Or we are about to be obliterated by them." Avon's grin grew wider. "Either way, we will be unable to use them against the Federation."  
         " Obliterated! Maybe we should leave, then."  
          "Relax, Vila." Jenna directed a mild glare at Avon. "If we were going to be attacked by an automatic system, it would have happened by now."  
          "Most likely," Avon conceded. "Since we are still here, that means there are no viable weapon systems anymore. If there ever were."  
          "You aren't the least bit curious?" Blake asked. "I would have thought you of all people would be interested in the possibilities."  
          "Possibilities, yes. But we aren't talking about possibilities here Blake, we are talking about pipe dreams." Avon pointed to the planet. "You assume that this would still be worth the Federation's time and resources, just because it was once considered of strategic value. But things change. A hundred years ago, this would have been a valuable outpost, because it bordered on a hostile enemy. But that enemy has long since been destroyed and it's planets conquered. This system no longer borders anything; it is surrounded by the Federation. Technology has improved, meaning fewer communication hubs are needed to cover the same range. There are no longer any people to conquer here. Lacking a habitable planet, any mining operations or other bases would require constant supply shipments, or the restorative terraforming of this world. A waste of resources the Federation has obviously decided to not bother with." He swung around to face his audience. "This planet is not infamous, nor is it legendary. It is forgotten, a footnote in history. Whatever weapons or tactics used to keep the Federation out will have long since been surpassed. Should they have ever existed at all."  
          "So you think we're wasting our time." Blake smiled at him.  
          "Of course. Aren't we always?"  
          +INFORMATION: LIBERATOR IS NOW IN GEOSYCNRONOUS ORBIT ABOVE HYPOTHETICAL LOCATION OF ORIGINAL SETTLEMENT. NO LIFE SIGNS DETECTED, NO COMPUTER ACTIVITY DETECTED.+  
          "You see? Nothing."  
          "Well, we're here now," Gan pointed out reasonably. "Why don't we take a look anyway?"  
          "My thoughts exactly," Jenna added. "I could do with a stroll away from this grouchiness." Avon favored her with a smirk. She returned it with a glare.  
          "On a dead planet with no atmosphere. I think I shall remain here," Avon said.  
          "All right. You and Cally can keep watch. We'll go down and look around." Vila looked panicked, but before he could object, Blake added, "Vila, you can operate the teleport."  
          "Oh, right! Thanks." Vila relaxed again.  
          Avon slotted Orac's operating key in, and the computer buzzed to life. "Orac, see if you can find any live systems and access their information."  
          Orac buzzed crankily. +I would remind you that this planet died long before the invention of the tarial cell, and therefore, any computers still active would be too primative to be worth the effort.+  
          "I'm well aware of that. Do it anyway."  
          +It is a complete waste of my time and function.+  
          "So is arguing with me. Get on with it."  
          +Oh, very well.+ Orac's tone rose and fell as he complied.  


          Down on the planet, in a bunker halfway across the planet from Liberator's orbital position, a sensor tripped. Computers that had been on standby for a century and a half powered up. Transmissions were analyzed passively, carefully avoiding any response that would alert the intruder. They paused as the intruder's scans themselves went into passive mode. Responses were considered.  
          Then another system from the intruder started an active scan. The computers struck, using that scan as a homing beacon for a short, powerful transmission.  
          Once transmitted, the computers returned to standby, waiting patiently.  


          +Oh! Oh my!+  
          Everyone stared at Orac. The computer began making a burbling noise as counterpoint to its usual buzz. +That is quite...nice.+  
          "What is?" Avon demanded.  
          "Blake!" Cally called from her station. She had her headphones back on again. "We've just recieved a transmission from the planet. Coordinates 2257 by 3892."  
          "What did it say?" Blake looked over her shoulder.  
          "Unknown. It wasn't a voice transmission. It was a short-burst computer code, beamed straight at us." She operated a control, replaying the readout. "It was transmitted right over Orac's carrier waves."  
          +You are entirely correct. Well done!+ Once again, everyone stared at Orac.  
          "Is he feeling all right?" Vila asked after a long moment.  
          +I am feeling absolutely marvelous, thank you for asking! This is quite a remarkable day!+  
          "Now this is something I wouldn't have expected." Avon gazed down at the blinking box. "Orac, what exactly was the nature of that transmission?"  
          +Nothing harmful! They were merely saying hello, as is only polite!+  
          +CONFIRMED.+ Eyes moved to Zen, and then were drawn back to Orac, who seemed to be humming in a more tuneful fashion. Nobody noticed as lights began moving more rapidly over Zen's facade.  
          Jenna's hands froze on the controls. Her head rocked back slightly as Zen started whispering directly into her mind. Still intent on Orac, nobody noticed.  
          "Could it be a computer virus?" Cally asked.  
          "Something carried on that transmission?" Avon considered a moment. "Possibly. It could be meant as a weapon of sorts, destabilizing an attacking ship's computers."  
          "Wouldn't a weapon want to turn the computers against its users?" Gan asked. "Orac's actually being less hostile than usual."  
          +Your wit is not nearly as lacking as usual, today!+ Orac buzzed. +Can I answer anything for you? I have so much information to share!+  
          "I never thought I'd say this, but I think I prefer Orac insulting us," Vila said. "Him being happy is kind of creepy."  
          +I am sorry to distress you so, Vila! Perhaps I can find an amusing limerick to make you feel better!+  
          The lighting on the flight deck suddenly dimmed. Everyone looked up.  
          +INFORMATION,+ Zen announced. +POWER DRAIN ON ALL SYSTEMS. RESOURCES DIVERTED TO EMERGENCY SYSTEMS. LIFE SUPPORT AT 80 PERCENT. WEAPONRY AT 30 PERCENT. FLIGHT SYSTEMS AT 30 PERCENT. ALL OTHER SYSTEMS UNAVAILABLE AT THIS TIME.+  
          Everyone ran back to their stations, leaving Orac to wibble happily to itself. Jenna suddenly shook her head and snapped back to attention. Cally looked at her oddly.  
          "Zen's right," Blake said. "All six energy banks are showing a heavy drain. One and two are exhaused, Three and Four are dropping rapidly. Five and Six are at 70 percent and dropping more slowly."  
          "That isn't possible," Avon snapped. "We are in a low-power orbit. There are no systems active using that level of energy."  
          "Could that transmission be siphoning off power?"  
          "I don't see how. It was a simple data stream, and it has already ceased transmitting. Scans have detected nothing else affecting the ship." Avon pressed controls that were quickly shutting themselves down. "It is more likely that whatever has reprogrammed Orac has also affected the Liberator."  
          "Making it discharge the power banks?" Blake guessed.  
          "That would have shown in a number of ways, none of which I'm seeing. And the 'drain' is happening too fast. It seems more likely that something is cutting the ship's functions off from the power banks. That could fool the computers into thinking the power is low. If I can arrange a bypass..."  
          A distant bang cut him off. Vila jumped right out of his seat, and everyone else looked around wildly. "What was that?" Exclaimed Blake. "Zen? Do you know?"  
          +INFORMATION: MAIN DRIVE IS NOW OFFLINE. FAULTS ARE CONTINUING ACROSS DRIVE SYSTEMS. INTERVENTION MAY BE REQUIRED.+  
          "What does that mean?!" Vila gasped.  
          Avon glowered at him. "It means Zen can't fix the problem himself, and is asking for help."  
          "Right." Blake strode around the deck to Avon's station. "You and Vila get down there."  
          "Me?!" Vila yelped. "Why me!? I don't know anything about computers!"  
          "Because I don't want people wandering around the ship alone with things going haywire. I'm going to check the life support systems. I want to make sure they don't go out next."  
          "I can help you with that," Jenna said, hurrying over. Blake held up a hand to stop her.  
          "I need you to monitor the flight systems from here. If Zen goes down, you'll have to keep our orbit stabilized manually. Cally, you stay here as well, and monitor communications. I want to know if we experience another transmission like the last one. And analyze the last one, see if you can figure out what it was carrying. Gan, you're with me."  
          "Right." Gan followed Blake out, while Vila trailed in Avon's wake. Jenna stood glowering after them.  
          Cally stepped down from her station and put a hand on her shoulder. "Jenna, are you all right?"  
          "Fine. I'm fine," Jenna replied distantly. Then she turned around, seeming to come back to herself, and smiled at Cally. "I'm just fine."  
             +Everything is extremely fine, and going quite well!+ buzzed Orac, his lights blinking in a pattern that seemed, well, happier than usual. Cally moved towards the computer.  
          "I'd better shut Orac off. If this is a computer virus, it might be damaging him..."  
          Jenna suddenly embraced her. One hand stroked her hair as she kissed her. Cally's eyes widened in surprise, and then glazed. The flight deck went even darker, lit only by active console buttons and Orac's flickering lights.  
          +Everything is wonderful today!+ burbled Orac.  
          +CONFIRMED,+ said Zen. The ship's computer sounded almost smug.  


          Avon glowered at the charred panel in front of him. On either side, lights blinked in a workmanlike manner on undamaged consoles. Vila tried to look interested, but only managed confusion.  
          "It's bad, isn't it?"  
          "On the contrary." Avon ran a hand over either side of the damaged console. "This is completely minor damage, and to a secondary system that was not active when it was destroyed. It couldn't have caused any serious problems." His frown deepened. "In fact, it shouldn't be damaged at all. And there is no reason for Zen to have been worried about it."  
          "So we're just wasting our time down here. I should have known."  
          Avon walked over to the comm unit and activated it. "Blake..."  
          Static buzzed loudly, and then stopped. Music started playing over the speaker.  
          "I know that song! My mother used to sing it a lot when I was a kid." Vila grinned.  
          Avon listened a moment. "Considering the lyrics, that probably explains why you turned out the way you have." He turned the unit off in disgust. There was a beep, then it switched itself back on. Avon angrily pressed the button again, with the same results. "Zen, where is this music coming from?"  
          There was a pause, and then a tuneful humming began playing along with the music. Avon stared, and then punched off the unit in disgust, again with little effect. "There is something seriously wrong here. I need to get back to the flight deck."  
          There was a familiar click and thump from the door. Avon banged a fist on it. "Zen! Let us out!" There was no response, except for a slight increase in the music's volume.  
          Vila hovered nervously. "Now what do we do?"  
          "Now you work on getting this door open, while I try to isolate whatever program has taken over Zen."  


          Blake and Gan hadn't even begun checking the life support systems when the doors locked behind them. Gan began trying to push one open while Blake pressed buttons on the comm. "Avon! Cally! Can anyone hear me?" The music and odd humming was the only response he got.  
          "Is that Zen humming?" Gan asked. The door was stubbornly refusing to budge, and Gan turned his back to it.  
          "I don't know." Blake put his chin in his hand and thought. "Obviously whatever got to Orac is also affecting Zen. Or Orac has overridden him."  
          "So it _is_ an attack."  
          "So it seems. Divide and conquer." Blake made a disgusted noise. "I should have realized. I walked us right into this trap."  
          Gan folded his arms across his chest. "What should we do now?"  
          "First of all, we'll have to get out of here somehow." Blake looked up at a mid-sized hexagonal screen on the wall. "If I recall correctly, that air conduit feeds into both computer rooms in this section. Provided Zen hasn't shut it off, we should be able to get to the drive room through it."  
          Gan looked at it dubiously. "I'll never fit in that. You'll have to go." He cocked his head and looked at Blake. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"  
          "I don't know. But I can't think of what else to do."  
          "Do you think Avon and Vila are locked in as well?"  
          "Most likely. But any door holding Vila will probably not stay locked for very long."  
          "True enough." Gan laced his fingers together. "All right, I'll boost you up."  


          Down below, the computers reached out again. This time they made a gentle suggestion that the intruder move away to a more congenial spot. The intruder considered, and then happily agreed that another system might be more scenic and pleasing to its crew. The ship eased out of orbit, coasting around the planet in farewell, and then soared away.  


          Vila jumped as the drives powered up behind him. With some effort, he kept from dropping the probe he was using. A minor victory, preventing Avon from getting another insult in. Not that Avon would have noticed, he realized. He was focused on the computers, ignoring anything else around him. "You got the engines back on, then?"  
          "No." Avon was somehow managing to look more dour than ever. "The systems are still keeping me out. Zen or something else has activated the engines." He looked up as the noise changed pitch, then looked at Vila. "We're breaking orbit."  
          "Is that a good or bad thing?"  
          "I'll let you know. Get that door open, now!"  
          Before Vila could turn back, the door slid open, dumping him out into the corridor at Cally's feet. His head bounced against the floor, causing him to yelp.  
          "There you are!" Cally helped Vila get to his feet. "We've been trying to reach you."  
          Avon gestured at the comm, which continued to play suggestively. "We seem to have a...fault...in communications. How are things on the flight deck?"  
          "We have the same problem. Zen and Orac are humming along to the music, and not responding." Cally absently reached a hand up, and smoothed her dishelveled hair. "We've just broken orbit, and are heading out of the system."  
          "To where?" Avon demanded.  
          "We've no idea. The current course takes us away from any inhabited system. Blake and Gan haven't returned either."  
          "They're probably locked in as well. Vila!" Vila stopped rubbing his head. "Get to the life support systems, see if you can get them out. I'm heading back to the flight deck. Move!"  
          "All right, all right, I'm going." Vila sloped away, and Avon turned back to Cally. Who was...looking directly at him, an odd smile on her face. He blinked. "We should get out of here."  
          "Yes, we probably should." Her smile grew wider, and then suddenly her arms were around him. Avon was caught completely off-guard, and stumbled, sending them both tumbling to the deck. Cally landed on top of him, still grinning.  
          "What is..." and then she kissed him. As his eyes lost focus, he heard the door drifting shut and locking again.  


          On the unlit flight deck, Jenna leaned into her chair and hummed along with with Orac and Zen as she guided the ship gently past the belt of asteriods cluttering the next planetary orbit. She idly wondered where they were going, but decided it didn't really matter.  


          Blake slowly crawled through the ductwork. He was beginning to regret it. His shirt kept getting snagged every few inches, and the 30 feet he had to travel was looking more and more like 30 spacials.  
          He looked up as the engines started up again, and bounced his head off the top of the duct. Cursing, he crawled faster.  


          Vila was having absolutely no luck with the door. Every time he thought he'd gotten it, the door would simply relock itself, forcing him to start over. He couldn't even hear Gan and Blake inside. He cursed, and wished he hadn't finished his flask an hour ago. Frustrated, he hit the frame and glared at it.  
          Normally, he would be intrigued by this puzzle, but panic was clawing at him. The Liberator was supposed to be safe. Well, as long as it wasn't being fired on, that is. Having the ship act funny was the stuff of nightmares.  
          Perhaps he _was_ having a nightmare. That's it, he was asleep in bed. That would explain why he couldn't open this door, even though Cally had opened theirs with no trouble. He just had to wake up, and everything would be back to normal.  
          He slapped his face a few times, and only managed to make his cheeks sore. Sighing, he headed back to his room. He was going to need the full kit for this one.  
          "There you are." Vila looked up. Avon was walking down the corridor towards him. "Have you gotten Blake and Gan out yet?"  
          No. I'm just heading to my room for my kit." And a drink, he mentally added. He started past Avon, and Avon draped an arm around his shoulders.  
          "I don't think there's any rush."  
          Uh, Avon, are you feeling all right?" Vila was unnerved. Avon was smiling. Not his usual sardonic grin that said he was laughing at the joke the universe had played on you, but a warm, happy smile that didn't belong on his face.  
          "Oh, I'm feeling quite well." His smile broadened. "Vila, have I ever told you how much I appreciate the way you make us all look good by comparison?"  
          Well, the backhanded compliment was typical, but this was still weird. "Uh...not that I recall?"  
          "Well, I'll just have to make it up to you now."  


          Gan was fretting. He couldn't hear Blake anymore. The door wasn't budging. And now the ship was moving who-knew-where. And he was less than useless in here. He had no idea what to do.  
          He began pacing back and forth, absently slamming his fist into his palm. He should have talked Blake out of going into the duct. What if he got stuck? Or worse, crawled the wrong way and ended up in the reactor or someplace equally lethal? And on top of all that, the music was getting more and more annoying. The last one by XK5 had been all right, but this whatever-it-was by Chemical Skum was awful, and would probably make even Vila blush.  
          Speak of the devil...the door drifted open, revealing a grinning thief. "There you are! It only took a half-reverse twist with an ionic probe."  
          "Vila! What's going on with the ship?"  
          "No idea. Avon's handling that. I was just shoved down here to get you two out." He glanced around. "Where's Blake?"  
          Gan gestured to the open duct. "Somewhere in there, trying to reach you."  
          "That's a tight fit. How long has he been in there?"  
          "I've lost track. Shall we go see if he's made it to the other end?"  
          "Yeah. Oh wait, first we should see if he's stuck on this side. Boost me up, will you?"  
          "Right." Gan hoisted Vila up. "See anything?"  
          "Nope." Vila dropped, and locked his arms around Gan's neck. "I'm sure he'll turn up eventually," he added, as he kissed him.  


          Blake was cursing steadily as he finally reached the end of the duct, and dropped clumsily out into an empty computer room. The burned console was mending itself, the music was still playing, the door hung open, and nobody was in there. He pulled his torn sleeve free and dropped it on the floor as he stalked out. The door to the other computer room was also open, with no sign of Gan or anybody else.  
          He sighed. That hadn't been one of his better ideas. Avon would probably never let him hear the end of it. He headed to the flight deck.  


          The lights were back on now, but Jenna had instructed Zen to keep them at half for the moment. She and Vila were dancing to the music. Cally and Gan were as well, but they were a few steps behind the beat, and kept giggling as they tripped over each other's feet. Avon was sitting on the floor next to Orac's table, humming along with the computers. Zen had put the viewscreen on without prompting, showing the gorgeous nebula he had decided to fly by.  
          Blake stalked in, and then stopped, nonplussed. "What the hell is going on up here?"  
          "There he is!" Vila clapped, releasing Jenna, who threw herself into Blake's arms. "We've been waiting for you!"  
          "I don't suppose it occurred to you to help me get out of the duct?"  
          "Couldn't figure out exacly where you were," Gan said as he swept Cally past. "Zen said you were all right, so we decided to wait up here."  
          "You decided to wait up here?!" Blake was about to start yelling, but Jenna distracted him by kissing him on the cheek.  
          "Oh, let it go. Everything's all right now."  
          "Absolutely."  
          "Definitely."  
          "Without a doubt."  
          Gan swung Cally into Vila's arms, and swept both Blake and Jenna up in a bear hug. "Come on, everyone, let's apologize properly!"  
          Jenna kissed Blake again, and his eyes lost focus as his crew cheered and leaped into the fray.  


          Thousands of spacials away, the planet that had once upon a time been called St. Valentine's spun on. The computer systems logged a job well done, and powered down. The planet was safe again, and the intruder had been sent away much happier than it had arrived. The founders would have been pleased.  


          Blake sat up front, and watched the nebula drift by on the viewscreen. He was alone for the moment. His crew were busy avoiding him and each other. A state of mild embarassment hung over the ship, shared even by Orac and Zen. Zen had apologized. Orac was insisting that nothing could possibly have happened, and would power himself down if anyone brought the subject up.  
          Avon quietly stepped up next to him, and watched the screen in stony silence. Minutes ticked by.  
          Blake gave up first. "Any thoughts about what happened?"  
          "Few I'd care to share." Avon's eyes never left the screen. He waited a moment. "It's an interesting weapon to use. A pacifist's dream. Invasion thwarted without a shot fired, or even a harsh word uttered. The invaders go away happy. Very neatly done."  
          "And then suffer an embarassment hangover that makes them think twice about returning."  
          "Depending on the person's personality. Though I would have to say that most of the embarassment is because it didn't really force us to do anything but spread the...infection....for lack of a better term. Everything else was simply the removal of inhibitions. Once those were gone, we simply did what came naturally, to our euphoric state."  
          Blake sighed. "No point trying to go back and get at that weapon, is there?"  
          "Not unless you'd like to repeat this experience."  
          "It's going to be bloody awkward around here for awhile."  
          "It will if you insist on talking about it."  
          "Are you just going to pretend none of this happened?"  
          "No. I am simply not going to talk about it."  
          "Fair enough. I'll take that under advisement."  
          "Good." Avon walked out, but paused by the corridor. "Oh, and Blake?"  
          "Yes?"  
          "If you mention this to anyone else, I will be forced to kill you." And with his usual sardonic grin back in place, Avon left.  


          Blake turned back and resumed watching the viewscreen.


End file.
